Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life.”- Anne Lamott
Aren’t we all on a mission to be the best we can be, have the perfect family, perfect partner, and a perfect job? We always keep fighting to complete our to-do-list, complete our bucket list, make our parents proud, get promoted, and be successful.
Are we setting ourselves up to fall in this quest for the perfect life? Will this result in happiness?
Despite knowing there is no such thing as perfect, most of us spend our time trying to do everything perfectly for everyone. Is it that we really admire perfection?
We get sucked into perfection each and every time as we believe that if we live in a perfect setting, look perfect, work perfectly, we can avoid the pain of judgment and shame. Is it so?
We live in a society that floods us with unattainable expectations around topics like we can’t even think of, from how much we should weigh to when the women should get pregnant. Finding the nerve and compassion to move from “What will people think” to “I am enough and happy”, is not easy.
So, how do we embrace our imperfections and recognize that it’s not necessary to be perfect to be happy? Why are we petrified to let our true selves to come in the picture? Why are we so anxious with what would other people think?
A deep sense of love and belonging is what we crave for. And when these needs are not met, we don’t work as we are supposed to. We break. We fall apart. We ache.
According to research, women are more inclined to get everything perfect as compared to men. And also women are more likely to experience feelings of inadequacy at home as well as work.
I am talking about the average everyday woman who feels guilty if she leaves her kids behind at home and goes out for lunch with her friends. Or who feels guilty if she chose her career over kids and family. Or who has a difficult time finishing a project at work because she feels it isn’t quite good enough. So, I am talking about you and me. Don’t we face these kinds of situations every day?
Feeling and thinking this way actually makes sense, because our culture puts a ton of pressure on us to be perfect. We are made to feel as if there is something wrong with us if we are not married by a certain age; we don’t have a large social media fan following, or don’t look a certain way. Amidst, these pressures, it’s obvious that we tend to forget unique things about ourselves.
You can be a superwoman sometimes or a woman who can conquer anything. But do not let the fear of not being perfect keep you away from taking care of yourself. You can’t do everything, and that’s completely fine!
What I think is, trying to do things well is a good thing, but trying to do everything perfectly would drain you out. There are some things in life that we need to do our best with the best effort. But you cannot be perfect in everything you do. So, instead of trying to get everything perfect, focus on those things in which you are perfect.
Have we ever wondered why men leave the house and forget about everyday things and devote themselves fully to their jobs while women take it all with them as if they have all the responsibilities? It’s true that the reason often lies in the fact that everything falls on their shoulders, but this is not always the case. Sometimes, women are the ones who do not want to ask for help or they do not want to delegate any work and do everything themselves. And this issue makes women forget about themselves, and they drain out at the end.
Knowing who you are and what you are is important!
Once you know that, you can make the decision to be enough and happy in every situation you face. You can be your true self if you don’t try to be perfect all the time.
So, on this woman’s day, let’s not try to be perfect, instead let’s try to be happy and be ourselves, do something for ourselves not for others!
I saw a quote that said “Your kids don’t need a perfect mom. They need a happy one”. True, isn’t it?
And I came across this wonderful video from Dice Media, “What the Folks, Season-2”. It’s a conversation between a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law where mother-in-law if of the opinion that its’ not about being perfect all the time, it about how happy we are in our lives. It’s super cool. A must-watch! Here is the link to the video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D966z-1hx8s
Cheers to all the Women!
Image Source: TheIndianExpress